There’s something about endorphins that induce a certain madness in me. It’s a safe madness. It forces me to rush to a computer or a pad of paper, write out something brutally honest. This was the case on New Year’s Eve. Many things can get my endorphins going. Refraining from masturbation for days at a time, taking a hike in the woods or an intense workout at CrossFit.
It was late April when I started working out at CrossFit. Six weeks earlier, I started a cleanse. My goal before the cleanse was to become a raw vegan. Mid-cleanse, something new came in. I sensed a super intense workout was needed, one that wouldn’t get boring after a few months. After much research, I happily stumbled upon CrossFit (it’s recommended that one consumes a paleolithic diet for the best results). Here we are early January 2013 and I’m still participating in this great workout program. It paid off as I’m now one of two members of the month. Check out the write-up.
It saddens me to announce that this is the penultimate post whereupon the script will be posted. The blog, of course, will continue. Kudos to those who have commented on the script. Please remember that the script is both incomplete and unedited. There’s a chance that someday the piece will reach completion. Another more pressing story has taken over. As of Sunday, I’ll begin drafting this up. I doubt this new script will make it to the blog. The process of writing it will be mentioned extensively.
INT. BELLA'S PLACE. BEDROOM - LATE MORNING Lying in bed, with skin as blue as the sky, Bella gasps for air. Kate hands Bella a steaming cup of tea. KATE Take this. BELLA (mouths) Thank you. Bella takes a sip of the tea. Coughs up pink phlegm. Damian hands Kate a box of tissues. Kate wipes the pink phlegm off her chin. DAMIAN Kate, can we talk? KITCHEN Kate pours boiling water into a cup. KATE Want a cup? DAMIAN Sure. Kate, is your aunt delusional? Kate's face turns beat red. KATE Excuse me? DAMIAN Relax. I'm asking out of concern. KATE It's been ages since I've seen her. You know that. DAMIAN She claims Charlie's a woman. A demon woman, to boot. Kate hands Charlie a cup of tea. KATE Charlie? Careful it's hot. DAMIAN The man, or woman according to your aunt, you sent here. KATE I wouldn't send my worst enemy here. Putting anyone, anything near that rodent child, would be tragic. DAMIAN Kate... KATE I'm sorry. That's an insult to rodents. A loud shriek emits from the bedroom. BEDROOM Kate and Damian rush in. Bella's seated on a rocking chair sewing. KATE Aunt Bella what are you doing out of bed? BELLA Sewing. KATE You're ill. Get to bed! Kate grabs Bella's hand but the old woman pushes her niece out of the way. BELLA Don't tell me what to do. I'm sewing now. I'll go to bed when I'm tired. DAMIAN Why'd you shriek? BELLA What did you say? DAMIAN You shrieked? What happened? Bella holds the sewing needles like a dagger. BELLA I don't know who you think you are but I'll tell you. You are a sick man doing sick things for evil people. I'd watch my tongue if I were you. Kate reaches for the sewing needle. KATE Aunt Bella... BELLA Don't "Aunt Bella" me, young lady. (beat) Both of you, leave me. I've got a blanket to sew. Bella's focus shifts directly onto the unfinished blanket barely covering her kneecaps.
2 thoughts on “CrossFit”
When I’m editing a script I’m often looking for words to remove and/or ways to make a script more concise. To that end, I would change:
“Bella takes a sip of the tea.” to
Bella sips tea.
I also think about clarity. So, since there are three characters in the scene, two of which are female, I’d add clarity to the following:
“Kate wipes the pink phlegm off her chin.”
by changing “her” to “Bella”
For fun, I might change this:
“Bella’s seated on a rocking chair sewing.” to
Bella sews, while swinging on a rocking chair. (something strikes me as odd about “Bella’s seated”)
I like this line:
“Bella holds the sewing needles like a dagger.”
though, whether this is supposed to be singular or plural is confused by the plural “needles” and singular “dagger”
Beautiful ideas! Man, you got some wonderful feedback! Thank you!