Vulnerability

Things haven’t exactly been easy lately.   Yesterday was the end of the world, apparently.   What the shit was that?   Talk about tone setting, my God!  Imagine this, you wake up, stretch, do your morning prayer, head down to the kitchen, pour yourself some orange juice, pop on NPR only to hear, “…the world will end on December 21st, 2012.”   Excuse me?    End?   Really?

I don’t care what belief system one has, this end of the world crap had to have affected everyone in some form another.  Looking back, I was a lunatic.  Read the posts from the last few days.   Bitching and moaning.   Deleting them crossed my mind.   My greater self vetoed that idea.    The whole purpose behind this blog is to show my vulnerability.  It’s real.   It’s who I am.   I think of these posts as excerpts from some classical sonata, where all the emotions are represented in some form.

Speaking of classical music, here is the next segment of the screenplay–

               EXT. RURAL ROAD - DAWN

               In exercise clothes, Damian leaps over the cracked pavement. 
               Continues his morning run.   He stops suddenly.

               In the distance, a hunched over silhouetted figure canes its
               way through the broken road.  It's Bella.

                                   DAMIAN
                         Hey.

               Bella squints, clearly confused by the distant voice.

                                   BELLA
                         Hello?

               Damian makes his way over to Bella.

                                   DAMIAN
                         Mrs. Argrove, what brings you here?

                                   BELLA
                         Bird watching.   There was this
                         most unusual bird. 
                         Looked like a flamingo but it was
                         turquoise.  So darn pretty.   Well,
                         a dog bark must have scared it. 
                         Flew over here.  I had to follow
                         it.

                                   DAMIAN
                         Just you?

                                   BELLA
                         Just me?  Of course!  Who else? 
                         Thomas has been dead for twelve
                         years.

               Bella retrieves a handkerchief from her pocket.   Blows her
               nose.

                                   DAMIAN
                         Sorry, I didn't mean...

                                   BELLA
                         Got this damned cold.   I've been
                         meaning to tell you.  Be wary.

                                   DAMIAN
                         No need to worry.  My immune system
                         is as strong as an ox.

                                   BELLA
                         Phaw!  Not talking about your
                         immune system.  Talking about some
                         lady.   She came into the store.  I
                         sold her a red dress.

                                   DAMIAN
                         Mrs. Argrove, that's not a...

                                   BELLA
                         Red because of the devil.   That's
                         right.  She's got the devil in her. 
                         Been praying ever since I saw
                         what's in that behemoth's eyes.

               Clearly amused, Damian places his hand on Bella's hands.

                                   DAMIAN
                         Mrs. Argrove...

               Bella yanks her hand out from underneath Damian's.  She
               trembles.   Her dentures nearly falling out of her mouth.

                                   BELLA
                         She's found you!  I can feel her in
                         your essence.

                                   DAMIAN
                         You insist she's a woman.

                                   BELLA
                         Because she is.  A demon woman. 
                         Come with me.

               INT. STORE - MORNING

               Damian shifts about uncomfortably as Bella pulls out boxes of
               cassettes.

                                   BELLA
                         Where is this?   I just saw this a
                         few days ago.

                                   DAMIAN
                         What are you looking for?

                                   BELLA
                         It's this cassette.  You like
                         classical?

                                   DAMIAN
                         Yeah, I guess.

               Bella beams a grin.  Puts on the radio.  Mozart fills the
               room.

                                   BELLA
                         Oh, Bastien and Bastienne.  One of
                         my favorites.

                                   DAMIAN
                         Never heard it.

                                   BELLA
                         Well, you're hearing it now.  Ever
                         dance to opera?

                                   DAMIAN
                         I rarely dance.

               Bella holds out her hands.  Damian grabs them.  The two swing
               side to side.

                                   DAMIAN (CONT'D)
                         Mrs. Argrove, this is really
                         nice...

                                   BELLA
                         Isn't it?  Listen to that voice! 
                         How beautiful!

                                   DAMIAN
                         It's quite beautiful.  Listen,
                         Will's alone with that woman you
                         speak of.

               Bella gasps.  Breaks away from Damian.

                                   BELLA
                         Is he?  Well, we need to get you
                         home.  First...

               Bella turns back toward the boxes of cassettes.   Grunts as
               she pulls out a pile of them.  Shuffles through them.

                                   BELLA (CONT'D)
                         Ah, here it is.  Take this.

               Bella hands Damian the cassette.

                                   DAMIAN
                         What's this for?

5 thoughts on “Vulnerability

  1. Okay, here we go… doing a little exploring on your screenwriting…
    In the opening of this one you say “In exercise clothes, Damian leaps over the cracked pavement.”
    In my opinion, this might be a missed opportunity. You have the opportunity to tell us something about Damian by telling us what type of clothes he exercises in. Granted, you can simply say “exercise clothes” and get away with it, but you could grab hold of the opportunity. Maybe he’s wearing a “matching blue-sweatsuit” (which could provide a little insight into the mind of the character) or maybe it’s just “mis-matching exercise clothes” (which would tell us something different about this guy), but the point is, there is an opportuinity to convey something more.

  2. “Damian makes his way over to Bella.”
    Does Damian walk, limp, strut, jog, hop or saunter over to Bella? Your way works, but I think there might be a better way.

  3. I hear what you’re saying. The idea is to get specific….details, details, details. Mind you, this is the first draft and it hasn’t been edited, however, all this feedback now is great! It helps me approach my piece at first with a clearer eye.

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