Inner Dialogue

The last few weeks, I couldn’t help but hear my inner dialogue screaming negativity. So much about my inability to find work, encounter a romantic partner, live in a comfortable environment, etc.   Fate brought me in contact with Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life.  This book has been life-changing.  The main philosophy in this writing is re-imprinting the brain so that it thinks positively about self and self’s reflections (friends, family, employers, co-workers, neighbors, community, etc).

Re-imprinting the brain can be fun.   Throughout the day, I’ll sing songs such as “I accept myself” or “I am sexy”.   Overtime, though, a wall might be hit.   Your emotional center, otherwise known as the Will, might say, “This positive affirmation is total bullshit right now.”   What a perfect time to actually start screaming and beating pillows.  By doing so, space opens up.   Each scream and each lashing of the pillow, you are moving through the energy of “this positive affirmation is bullshit.”   This might be a judgment but we all wish to approve of ourselves.  We all wish to be sexy.  Okay maybe we don’t all wish to porn stars or supermodels but sexy, yes.  Sexy to our partners.  Sexy to ourselves as we look in the mirror.

My suggestions to all who care about healing:

1.  Pick up a copy of You Can Heal Your Life.

2.  Come to understand your limiting beliefs such as “I am not sexy” or “I need the approval of others to get by in life”.

3.  Change it to a positive affirmation.

4.  Say it over and over again.

5.  Should your emotional center say this is bullshit, get to a safe spot, beat a pillow, scream till tears come streaming down your cheeks.

6.  Say the positive affirmation again.   It should feel more true.  If not, repeat screaming and beating of pillows.

How I strongly wish healing for this planet and everyone on it.  Thank you and love to you all for reading this.

A Roaring Welcome

Dear Readers:

The week before Thanksgiving, I sunk into the worst depression ever.   The descent rattled both my physical and mental health.   I did everything possible to stop myself from falling deep into this pit.   Called family and friends.   All they could really say was, “I love you.  We hope things get better.”   As warming as that might be to hear, I still hit rock bottom.

Once there, a voice spoke to me.   It said, “If you’re a writer, then just write!   Screw what Syd Field and Robert McKee preach.  Get something, anything on paper.  Doesn’t matter how fucked up it is.  Just fucking write.”   The next day I started work on a screenplay.   I had no clue where this was going.   I wrote three pages a day.  This, in conjunction with St. John’s Wort, proved to elevate my mood.   By the third day, I titled the piece, Descent (named after my descent into the worst emotional state I can remember.   More on the title in two paragraphs).

On the twenty-fifth page, questions started taking over.   Why is the boy character, Will, so hated by everyone except the protagonist, Damian?   What is the relationship between Damian and Will?    Upon reaching the bottom of the thirty-second page, I stopped.  Didn’t know what kind of story I was telling.

While my mind ruminated for further story ideas, I stumbled across an article entitled “The 15 Biggest Cult Films of the Past Five Years”.   The third biggest cult film, Descent.   “Shit”, thinks I.    Time to rethink things.   No better venue to rethink things than a blog.   This blog shall be called Descent into My Creative Mind:  A Rather Absurd Journey.

This is how it shall be laid out.  Excerpts of the script shall be posted whereupon the next day or days later analyze the piece along with discussing where the scene(s) could go.  Occasionally, I’ll insert random fictional absurdity that has nothing to do with script.   Some days, I’ll embark upon philosophical ramblings.

I ask you, the reader/follower, for honesty.  You have something to say, say it.  Don’t hold back.   Thank you and enjoy this blog.
–Eric Sazer