Unwanted House Guests

Theses unwanted house guests shield themselves as love but really they are pariahs.   They just appear.  Looking back, you wonder if you invited them in?   Maybe a little…life can be lonely sometimes.   Boy, how nice it is,though, to be alone.  Do things your way.   They, however, argue that everything you do is wrong. You calmly tell them they’re not seeing things right.   No, they insist, it’s you who is seeing everything wrong.  But we love you, they add, and you’re not alone.   Well, if I wasn’t alone, then why the fuck do I feel so alone?

Time to clean house.   Push these unwanted house guests to the porch, to the lawn.   Hell, I don’t care where they go.  Just leave me be.   Let me fill my space with my loving energy.   I will win here.   It’s in my cards.

What Is Love?

Love is knowing that all your needs and wants are available at your fingertips.

Love is rolling in the dirt.

Love is running around with the animals.

Love is playing with the children.

Love is the allowance of tears streaming down your cheek.

Love is finding a safe space to express your rage.

Love is acceptance of terror and fear.

Love is watching the forest expand.

Love is allowing yourself to expand.

Love is nourishing the garden of life.

Love is meditating.

Love is finding comfort in your naked body.

Love is healthy eating.

Love is wild dancing.

Love is splashing about in water.

Love is falling asleep on fresh sweet soil.

Love is embracing your moments of solitude.

What does Love mean to you?

Toni Collette

My shrine for Toni Collette exists solely in my mind.   As the day passes, the thought of working with her arrives at least fifteen different times.  She makes the subtlest movements that after a quick examination scream, “I am this character.  I’ve always been this character and will die this character.”   Regardless of the role, regardless of the absurdity, she breathes honesty.

Using Toni as a muse, I sketched out a story for a film that is so personal.   It delineates my discomfort in romance and with family.   I’d be delighted if she played the female lead.   Who knows?

The below excerpt is not (I underlined the word not so that if this happens to be read on opposite day, it’s clear that this is not) from the story; it’s a continuation of the script titled Descent.

               INT. STORE - DAY

               BELLA, a shaking octogenarian, dusts the register.   She
               looks over at Charlie who is sifting through the ladies'
               dresses.

                                   BELLA
                         It's a nice selection here, isn't
                         it?

                                   CHARLIE
                         Sure is.  My wife...

                                   BELLA
                         Try something on.  We got dressing
                         rooms, ya know?

               Bella canes her way over to Charlie.  After examining a
               dress, she violently pushes it away.

                                   CHARLIE
                         Thank you but I'm...

                                   BELLA
                         I think you'd look excellent in
                         red.  Ah, I saw a nice red dress
                         here yesterday.  Where's the damn
                         thing.  Oops, pardon my language.  
                         I used to never curse until my
                         husband died.   You married?  

                                   CHARLIE
                         Not yet.

                                   BELLA
                         Well, be patient.  Someday you'll
                         find a man of your own.

                                   CHARLIE
                         Oh, I get it!  You think I'm a
                         woman because I'm...

                                   BELLA
                         You're a beautiful woman.   There's
                         no reason why you shouldn't be
                         married.

                                   CHARLIE
                         Well, okay.

                                   BELLA
                         Well, I speak the truth.  Ah, okay
                         here's the dress.

               Bella holds the dress up against Charlie's body.

               INT. LOG CABIN - EVENING

               Will downs his glass of wine.

                                   WILL
                         More, please.

               Charlie wearing a red dress refills Will's glass.

                                   CHARLIE
                         That's a ton of wine for a boy your
                         age.

                                   WILL
                         Did I ask for a commentary?

                                   CHARLIE
                         No?

                                   WILL
                         Then step away, woman.

               Shivers run down Charlie's back as he steps away.

               In the corner, Damian whittles a stick and hums.

                                   CHARLIE
                         How long do I have to wear this?

                                   WILL
                         Until either you leave or truly
                         morph into a woman.

                                   DAMIAN
                         Knowing Charlie, he'll fall in love
                         with the dress but never leave nor
                         morph into a woman.

               Damian and Will chuckle.

                                   WILL
                         Woman, refill his glass.

               Charlie refills Damian's glass.  

               Damian joins Will at the table.   He hands Will the whittled
               stick.

                                   DAMIAN
                         What do you think?

                                   WILL
                         That should do.  I'll test it.

                                   DAMIAN
                         On what?

               Will tosses the whittled wood at Charlie's back.

                                   CHARLIE
                         Fucking prick!

                                   WILL
                         Exactly!

               Damian and Will roar in wild laughter.

               BEGIN DREAM SEQUENCE

               EXT. CITY STREET - DAY

               It's clearly winter.  Everyone's bundled up in warm clothing
               including Kate and Charlie.

               Kate fishes in her pocket.  Pulls out a quarter.  Hands it to
               Charlie.

                                   KATE
                         That's all I got.

                                   CHARLIE
                         I'm jonesing for a smoke, Kate.  
                         What the hell will I do with a
                         quarter?

                                   KATE
                         Buy gum.  Kill the boy.

                                   CHARLIE
                         Will?

                                   KATE
                         No.  Not Will.

                                   CHARLIE
                         Then who?

               Kate points across the street to Damian.   He's dressed like
               a schoolboy.  Sucks his thumb.  

               A thick rope unravels in the air.  It falls to the ground.

               THUD

               Damian's eyes widen.

               END DREAM SEQUENCE