My heart goes out to all affected by today’s explosions. May we soon find a world filled with peace and love. May we express ourselves without having to kill, maim or torture.
Theses unwanted house guests shield themselves as love but really they are pariahs. They just appear. Looking back, you wonder if you invited them in? Maybe a little…life can be lonely sometimes. Boy, how nice it is,though, to be alone. Do things your way. They, however, argue that everything you do is wrong. You calmly tell them they’re not seeing things right. No, they insist, it’s you who is seeing everything wrong. But we love you, they add, and you’re not alone. Well, if I wasn’t alone, then why the fuck do I feel so alone?
Time to clean house. Push these unwanted house guests to the porch, to the lawn. Hell, I don’t care where they go. Just leave me be. Let me fill my space with my loving energy. I will win here. It’s in my cards.
Love is knowing that all your needs and wants are available at your fingertips.
Love is rolling in the dirt.
Love is running around with the animals.
Love is playing with the children.
Love is the allowance of tears streaming down your cheek.
Love is finding a safe space to express your rage.
Love is acceptance of terror and fear.
Love is watching the forest expand.
Love is allowing yourself to expand.
Love is nourishing the garden of life.
Love is meditating.
Love is finding comfort in your naked body.
Love is healthy eating.
Love is wild dancing.
Love is splashing about in water.
Love is falling asleep on fresh sweet soil.
Love is embracing your moments of solitude.
What does Love mean to you?
My shrine for Toni Collette exists solely in my mind. As the day passes, the thought of working with her arrives at least fifteen different times. She makes the subtlest movements that after a quick examination scream, “I am this character. I’ve always been this character and will die this character.” Regardless of the role, regardless of the absurdity, she breathes honesty.
Using Toni as a muse, I sketched out a story for a film that is so personal. It delineates my discomfort in romance and with family. I’d be delighted if she played the female lead. Who knows?
The below excerpt is not (I underlined the word not so that if this happens to be read on opposite day, it’s clear that this is not) from the story; it’s a continuation of the script titled Descent.
INT. STORE - DAY BELLA, a shaking octogenarian, dusts the register. She looks over at Charlie who is sifting through the ladies' dresses. BELLA It's a nice selection here, isn't it? CHARLIE Sure is. My wife... BELLA Try something on. We got dressing rooms, ya know? Bella canes her way over to Charlie. After examining a dress, she violently pushes it away. CHARLIE Thank you but I'm... BELLA I think you'd look excellent in red. Ah, I saw a nice red dress here yesterday. Where's the damn thing. Oops, pardon my language. I used to never curse until my husband died. You married? CHARLIE Not yet. BELLA Well, be patient. Someday you'll find a man of your own. CHARLIE Oh, I get it! You think I'm a woman because I'm... BELLA You're a beautiful woman. There's no reason why you shouldn't be married. CHARLIE Well, okay. BELLA Well, I speak the truth. Ah, okay here's the dress. Bella holds the dress up against Charlie's body. INT. LOG CABIN - EVENING Will downs his glass of wine. WILL More, please. Charlie wearing a red dress refills Will's glass. CHARLIE That's a ton of wine for a boy your age. WILL Did I ask for a commentary? CHARLIE No? WILL Then step away, woman. Shivers run down Charlie's back as he steps away. In the corner, Damian whittles a stick and hums. CHARLIE How long do I have to wear this? WILL Until either you leave or truly morph into a woman. DAMIAN Knowing Charlie, he'll fall in love with the dress but never leave nor morph into a woman. Damian and Will chuckle. WILL Woman, refill his glass. Charlie refills Damian's glass. Damian joins Will at the table. He hands Will the whittled stick. DAMIAN What do you think? WILL That should do. I'll test it. DAMIAN On what? Will tosses the whittled wood at Charlie's back. CHARLIE Fucking prick! WILL Exactly! Damian and Will roar in wild laughter. BEGIN DREAM SEQUENCE EXT. CITY STREET - DAY It's clearly winter. Everyone's bundled up in warm clothing including Kate and Charlie. Kate fishes in her pocket. Pulls out a quarter. Hands it to Charlie. KATE That's all I got. CHARLIE I'm jonesing for a smoke, Kate. What the hell will I do with a quarter? KATE Buy gum. Kill the boy. CHARLIE Will? KATE No. Not Will. CHARLIE Then who? Kate points across the street to Damian. He's dressed like a schoolboy. Sucks his thumb. A thick rope unravels in the air. It falls to the ground. THUD Damian's eyes widen. END DREAM SEQUENCE